What to do When Intrusive Thoughts of Comparison Happen

Jan 14, 2020

This post actually came to me after having a conversation with a new friend of mine. As we were talking I  came to the realization to me of something that I struggle with. And that is that I tend to look at others that have more than me, and seem happier than me. I then get discouraged and start thinking that I can’t stand a chance. This is a straight example of comparison.

By comparing myself I start spiraling with a whole array of other discouraging thoughts.  

I start thinking that I can’t accomplish certain dreams. That I will never have certain things.

It’s a weird connection. But comparing can cause us to either feel better about ourselves, so proud, or worse, aka discouraged and ashamed perhaps. 

These intrusive thoughts stop me from pursuing what I want in life, too. When I compare myself to someone else journey who had done more than me, I become impatient. 

I would never want anyone else to think that, but yet I sometimes do it to my own self.

There is an antidote to these nasty thoughts.

I have learned that I need to love the life I have where I am at, and as imperfect as it is.

While it is true that others may have more because they have been dealt better cards. Others may have done bigger and better things than me because they believed in themselves and did things better than me.

Something that I can start with, is to believe in myself and to love what surrounds me.

I am learning lately that I need to love my life and take ownership of it no matter what stage I am in.

I need to love every second of what I have even if I am not yet where I may have ever aspired to be. I need to take pride in my family. Take pride in the things I own. I need to take confidence in my life.

Think of being bold and determined. Love your every move.

Take pride in what you do and do it with confidence and take full ownership of it.

Because this is only the middle of our story after all. Our whole life is only truly the middle part of our eternal story.

Even if I want my life to get better, just like they say that I need to be happy now in order  to be happy when I am successful, so do I need to love my life now if I want to love it later.

And if I don’t, if what I have doesn’t make me proud, then I can start changing that little by little.

I remember doing that with my own closet. I will talk about this on another post. I purged all the clothes I had bought that I didn’t love, and I decided that I would set a budget aside every month, and have a minimalist closet that I absolutely loved.

When I look back in the past, I know things were sometimes harder than they are now, but I always wish I would have just been happier and loved that stage of life.

It was hard in the moment. I had to believe in what I couldn’t quite see yet. But now that I know that that stage was temporary, I am learning that those thoughts of being dissatisfied never go away. So I am the one who needs to set them aside, and start loving what I have and where I am at.

Forget about all my troubles for a minute, and love what I have accomplished and what I do have that there is to love.

Everything else can follow after. But loving our current life for what there is to love, that is what we can do and is absolutely worth it.

And if you think I am crazy and I am the only one who thinks this, try and read this book. I love how mentally empowering it is.

And I am curious, what do you love in your life despite your troubles? I want to hear.

You can leave a comment below.


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Serena Essuman


Serena Essuman

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