A couple of years ago I had the opportunity with our family to be in a Mormon Message Video. I will be honest, back then that was a dream come true. We used to watch them all the time and I had always dreamt of being in one.So when we were invited to do one I was beyond excited.
I remember at the time when it came out that I was really excited, but also a little sad. I will tell you why. We also had the opportunity to do an interview after the video that was never published. I don’t know why to this day. I remember that one of my first instincts was to blame myself for it. I thought that maybe I had said something wrong, or that I didn’t smile enough, or that somehow I hadn’t supported the views of the Church the right way. I do remember that they ran out of batteries at some point though and that I think they couldn’t record some of it.
I cannot even remember anymore a lot of the things that we actually said in that interview, but one of them that stack out to me and I remember saying is the following.
I was asked how we decided that it was time to have children. I remember that I said that when I was close to graduating from college I was evaluating my future options. I had secretly always wanted to go to beauty school. I almost went before college, but then chose to wait, and now that I was done with school I still had that desire. I also had lots f other things that I wanted to pursue and I knew I could have taken the time to work on those. I also always wanted to be a mother.
I remember that I finally explained on that camera interview that I had decided that I had had enough me time in my life, and I had felt that I had dedicated enough of my life to my education, and that now was the time to dedicate my time to someone else. For me that meant to start having children and dedicate my time to raising them.
If you asked me now the same question, I would have forgotten that these thoughts crossed my mind when I decided to have children. Over the years, I must say that while I certainly took a break from working full time and going to actual classrooms for school, I have also been able here and there to educate myself in lots of other fields and work here and there a little bit in my husband’s business. I have yet to go to beauty school because that is a very hands on type of education, but I know that if I decide to it in the future I will be able to do it.
I knew that with my reason to have kids there is a potential that I might offend somebody. Remember that this was my personal journey and thoughts. Everyone is different. Since that story was never published I wanted to take the time to share it. I still can’t remember everything else I said…