Tuesday April 24,2018

I love when the days are finally longer and the sun is out. I feel cheery. I remember the better days I have had here in Utah. Today was particularly a beautiful day when I picked up Davide and Siena from school. Zara was in the back chilling, and I was a bit early. Siena got out as one of the first kids and was standing in the front next to her buddy reader. She had her big curly hairs all down and out since she showered this morning which usually does not happen in the morning so it’s rare for her hair to be down during school. I felt such a joy and love for her. My heart just started pounding with the love I felt for her. I usually here people talking of butterflies and this outpouring love. I often feel love in different ways, but today I can honestly say that my heart jumped and pounded so hard when I saw my little daughter and I felt so proud that she is mine. To be her little mother and to have that privilege.

When kids are little, we often take the time to cuddle them, love them, snuggle them. As they grow we get busy. We sometimes stop being tender with them. We sometimes forget they still may need a hug and words of affirmation even when give us their worst.

We may have other kids enter the picture as well. And at times we focus so much on how we miss them being little and how they were in the past that we forget to celebrate them right now in the moment. Today as they are. Today reminded me to celebrate my kids now, and not wait for the perfect house and the perfect moment in my life to celebrate my kids or to celebrate with my kids. I used to envision myself living in a mansion and having a library in a home with mahogany cherry red cabinets and soft couches. I then envisioned my daughter then a teenager, sitting with me in that room and talking to me and her dad. I may not get that in this lifetime, but I do have my daughter, and I am ready to forget about the things I may not have, but celebrate the now with them and how lucky I am to have them all right now in this moment.

They are healthy, they are strong, they are happy, and they are here with me sharing this journey by my side. Yes they are growing, but they are excited to grow and so should I be about it.