I know we all want to be real and a perfect life doesn’t exist.

Yet there is something about putting yourself together for the day. You feel beautiful. You feel refined. You feel more curated.

I often tell my kids that just because we are not in a palace with servants and have visitors all the time, it doesn’t mean we should treat ourselves and behave poorly. And even if it’s just us at home, we can get ready and love ourselves each day.

I see grooming ourselves as a way to show respect to our own selves.

Growing up in Italy, we were never in pajamas all day. I can’t think in fact of one day where we did that. Yet to me that was perfectly normal because in our culture we liked to get dressed.

Yet our life wasn’t a sophisticated one. In fact, we lived a very simple life. We would wear used clothes, and had lots of simple play clothes for the days where we would play outside. But in the Italian culture, we try and look presentable even if in the simplest of ways.

The classic Italian woman doesn’t spend hours to get ready. But she gets dressed and brushes her hair and teeth and face before going out the door.

There is an expression in Italy for women that are simply beautiful. Those women are called the water and soap ? types. Meaning the type of girls that just wash their faces and go out the door. They are simple yet beautiful in their own simplicity. They are not poorly kept. Just simple.

The average Italian woman in fact does not wear a lot of make up. She doesn’t even own a hair curler.

I always loved how in Italy a more natural form of beauty was promoted overall. Where wrinkles were embraced and you looked at a girl’s true hair color, texture and eye color before everything else.

I love make up. But to this day I am pretty minimalistic with it. I know it may not be someone’s preference. Yet I can’t kiss my kids cheeks with too much lipstick on all the time. ???

Being that now I am a housewife and a mom, I am often tempted to just not groom myself. After all, some days I clean all day and deal with messes at home and diapers. Yet I have strived to never give up. For my husband especially.

There are some days, especially during the winter, where I know I am NOT going to leave the house. It is so tempting during those times for me to want to wear my ugliest clothes or not even brush my hair.

But I have learned over the years that you never know what the day will bring. I always end up interacting with someone whether it’s a knock on my door or a neighbor or the grocery man. And every time I have chosen to go out the door looking grungy, I have always wished I would have felt a bit more presentable.

Looking good is do it for yourself. Even if it’s for just your little fam that is enough.

I think grooming oneself is often presented as trying to look like a perfect mom so much that it’s often frowned upon.

My take on it is, it takes the same time to slip on a pair of jeans than it does to slip on a pair of sweats.

For me I also have had to make sure I loved the clothes in my closet.

I have had to clean up my closet multiple times over the years if I saw that what I had wasn’t what I liked.

Once it’s clean and to your standard, you can only wear good clothes if that is what’s in there.

To do that I have learned to only buy clothes that I absolutely love.

And looking good can still be comfortable.

I have found that the plainest clothes work best and can be mixed matched the most and don’t go out of style as much.

Being a mom doesn’t mean you have to give up on looking good and on having an identity.

Take time each day to do those simple things to groom yourself. Find a simple routine that helps you to feel confident even on those days where you know you will have 5 minutes to get ready.

I keep in my closet a little section for clothes that are comfortable for when I need to run out the door. I also have a favorite tinted moisturizer for when I don’t have time to do anything else.

Now, I won’t lie and say I always look perfectly put together. I have gone around in a robe when taking my kids to school just down the road in the past, and I do go around super messy when I run errands after the gym.

Every rule has an exception. But when it comes to the day to day, I have strived to create a quick everyday look that I can do regardless to go about my day feeling good and well groomed.

You are the queen of your household, therefore treat yourself and your home like your kingdom. It’s almost like playing being a princess at home. You are a princess. No matter how big or small your house is or where you are in life.

Create something beautiful and take pride in it. You will thank yourself for it.

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I remember when I first arrived in the states that I was so shocked about a few things.

I remember one time paying with a card and the girl tossed the card back at me over the counter. Whaaat??? Oh my goodness. It’s like I had never witnessed that before.Or I remember going to a restaurant and it was shocking to me that only posh places would have table cloths and a well presented table I remember going to a stake house and the waiter again tossed the utensils wrapped in a napkin across the table because he couldn’t reach my side of the booth.

In Europe most people have to take a course before becoming a waiter. I even took an elective class in high school in Spain for a year on restaurant service. We learned how to pour drinks, carry trays, which side to serve people, and how to properly set up a table.

At home my mom always taught us how to set up the table and we did it every day even though it was just for our own selves. 

We set the forks on the left side.

Our cups were up top and on the right side. 

We all would to sit together to eat and couldn’t just leave the table.

Elbows were tucked in and off the table at all times.

We were taught to wipe our mouth before drinking.

We would keep our back straight for good posture.

BAD TABLE MANNERS

GOOD TABLE MANNERS

My mom would tell us how we should practice cutting even fruit with a fork and a knife.

I guess you never know when you might become Julia Roberts and go to dinner with a fine man.

It takes work. But we are a family. We ourselves are the most important thing we have. So why not treat ourselves like kings and queens even if we don’t live in a palace quite yet.

Hey! Every country has their own strengths. I appreciate for example how kind 95% of the people are when being attended to in public here in the United States.

That is something that this country has nailed!

But manners seems to be going out the window more and more.

From not saying please and thank you. Or saying excuse me when pumping into someone.

Using may and might when asking a question.

In Italy it is completely forbidden to wonder into someone’s house.

As kids we would sit at the table the whole meal, which lasts a couple of hours.

It is possible to have kids behave.

And it does help when a group of people do it. We did it because other people expected us to do it too at their homes and we all knew it.

Manners are a gentle way to care for others and show appreciation.

Something that I admire about Europe is that when I still visit to this day I hear parents on the street reminding their children, “Manners please.”

Manners are a way of doing things well and in a refined way.

It’s a way of giving ourselves respect as well as others.

I know I seem like a broken record at our home, but I want my kids to remember to be polite.

I never think it sticks, but then I often have people approach me and tell me that they are so well behaved.

What is your favorite manner to teach your kids?

The post Where ‘em manners? And what are they exactly. appeared first on Life At Casa.